


The Name of the Doctor

by EbonySolcum



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23615968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EbonySolcum/pseuds/EbonySolcum
Summary: "What, you know his name? He told you?""I made him.""How?""It took a while."
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor/River Song, Tenth Doctor/River Song, Twelfth Doctor/River Song
Comments: 6
Kudos: 84





	The Name of the Doctor

**Author's Note:**

> This is a little something I wrote a while ago and I just realised I never posted it here. So now I am.

“Doctor, what’s your name?”

River watched his reaction carefully as she pulled his jacket tighter around herself. His eyes were still fixed on the sky, even though there weren’t as many stars as there had been a few minutes before. He frowned at her question but didn’t turn to face her.

She nudged him with her shoulder. 

“Doctor?”

He finally turned to look at her.

“Why do you ask?” he said.

“Because I don’t know it. I was taught everything about you as I a child, and then I’ve spent the last three years studying everything I could find about you, but I never found your name. What is?”

He frowned and shook his head. “I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

He turned back to face the sky. It was several moments before he spoke.

“I just can’t, River. Please don’t ask.”

She knitted her eyebrows together in a confused frown, but she decided not to push it. This version of the Doctor wasn’t even married to her yet. Letting out a sigh, she leaned closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

____

River and the Doctor were sitting at a table in an alien restaurant, ordering their food.

“So,” she said when the waiter — a rather handsome, red-skinned alien with four arms — had left. She crossed her ankles beneath her chair and leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table. “Why won't you tell me your name?”

The Doctor looked up. “My name is the Doctor.”

“You know what I mean, Sweetie,” she protested. “Your real name.”

“It is my real name,” he said.

“Are you not telling me your name because you've already told an older version?” she asked. 

His gaze was fixed on the table and his voice sounded strained when he spoke. 

“No, I haven't. And I can't.”

____

“Sweetie?” River murmured. 

“Mmm.” The Doctor pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. “What?”

“Why don't you tell anyone your name?”

He groaned. “Not this again, River.”

“I'm not asking for your name. I'm just asking why you don't tell anyone.”

“Because it's dangerous,” he replied. “Anyone who knew my name would be in constant danger.”

“Hmm. Sounds fun.”

“No, River.”

She rolled over to nuzzle him with her nose. “You're going to tell me one day,” she told him before pressing her lips to his. 

He pulled away to press a kiss to her forehead, but he didn't respond. 

____

River continued to ask her husband what his name was nearly every time she saw him. Eventually, she realized it was hopeless. Every time she brought it up, a far off look appeared on his face, especially when he was older. In time, she gave up completely, reluctantly accepting that this was one thing she'd never know about her husband. 

____

“You really don't know?” the Doctor laughed, raising one of his bushy eyebrows. 

River scowled dramatically. “No. You've never told me.”

“So? You know everything about me, regardless of whether or not I've told you,” he scoffed. “It's a bit annoying really.”

“I don't know everything, Sweetie. I don't know your name.”

He frowned and she instantly regretted bringing it up. But when he spoke, his voice wasn't strained like she had expected. 

“Right, well . . . But that's different. I'm the only one who could tell you my name. There are countless ways you could have found out about this,” he said. “I can't believe you didn't.”

She rolled her eyes. 

River hummed as she felt the bed shift under her. Her husband's arm slipped around her waist and he pressed a kiss to the back of her head. She felt his breath on her ear a moment later. 

“What are you doing?” she murmured. 

“Shh.”

She tried to turn over but he wouldn't let her. Instead, he continued hovering over her before finally whispering something in her ear. 

She let out a gasp. Rolling over to face him, she found him watching her carefully with a small smile on his face. 

“I thought you were never going to tell me,” she breathed. 

“You're my wife,” he said. “You deserve to know. You're the only person I could ever tell.”

“But--”

He hushed her again and pulled her into a kiss. She didn't protest. 

____

“Oh, for heaven's sake!” Lux snapped, cutting off what River had been going to say. “Look at the pair of you. We're all going to die right here, and you're just squabbling like an old married couple.”

River and the Doctor turned back to look at each other. He looked scared and confused and she hoped her own emotions didn't show on her face. Lux’s words stung. They had just been another reminder that her husband was too young. 

“Doctor, one day I'm going to be someone that you trust completely, but I can't wait for you to find that out,” she said. “So I'm going to prove it to you. And I'm sorry.” She rested her hand on his tie. One day it would be a bowtie, and later it would be no tie, but she had never seen a tie before. “I'm really very sorry.”

She moved closer to him so her mouth was inches from his ear. Then she whispered his name. Guilt flooded through her as she pulled away to find his gaze fixed on a point behind her, shock written all over his face. 

“Are we good?” she asked. 

He didn't answer. 

“Doctor, are we good?”

His gaze didn't shift but he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, almost inaudibly. Then he found his voice. “Yeah, we're good.”

She took a shaky breath before nodding once. “Good,” she said softly. 

She took her screwdriver from his hand and turned away. She had just realized that this meant he had always known she knew his name, right from the start. Every time she had asked, he had known he'd end up telling her, but he had refused to tell her until their second year on Darillium. She wished she could ask him why, but he was too young. 

____

River clung to the library’s door frame for support, holding out her other hand to keep the Doctor from coming any closer. He stood in front of her helplessly, obviously itching to help her. 

“I need you to do something for me,” she informed him, wincing as pain shot through her. 

“What?” he said eagerly. 

“You need to erase part of my memory.”

“What?” he said again. This time he sounded confused. “Why would I do that?”

She doubled over, hugging herself with the arm that wasn't holding herself up. The Doctor had moved forward but she held her hand up again and he held back. 

“Because I can't do it myself.”

“What are you trying to erase?” he asked. 

“Your name.”

The Doctor raised his eyebrows. 

“Wh-why do you want me to erase my name?” he stammered. “You spent so much time trying to get it from me.

“I shouldn't know it. You don't want me to know it, that's why you didn't want to tell me until you absolutely had to. The only reason you told me at all is because you knew I knew your name. I said it to you when you first met me,” she said. “You only told me your name because I needed it to get you to trust me. I don't need it anymore.”

The Doctor frowned. Stepping forward, he slipped his arms around her, ignoring her attempts to push him away. He pulled her to the couch where he sat beside her, gently touching his fingers to her temples. She closed her eyes, ready for him to erase his name from her mind. Instead, she felt him cradle her face in his hands, resting his forehead against hers. 

“I didn't tell you my name because I had to, I told you because you're my wife and I wanted you to know it. The only reason I waited so long to tell you is because I'm a selfish old man and I was so afraid of losing you,” he murmured. “I hoped that, as long as I didn't tell you my name, I'd get to see you again. If I didn't want you to know my name, I'd have told you at the end of our time on Darillium, not the beginning.”

“But--”

“No buts,” he interrupted, pressing a kiss to her lips. 

She winced, jerking away from his touch. 

“Sorry. You should probably rest. All this pain is just your nervous system waking up. Like when you sit on your leg and it goes numb, then it hurts when you try to move it again.”

She nodded and he gathered her into his arms. She clung to his neck, threading her fingers into his grey hair as he carried her to their bedroom. 

“I love you, River,” he murmured. 

“I love you too,” she responded. 

She whispered his name and he offered her a soft smile.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that! Please leave a comment letting me know what you thought of it!


End file.
